Ten (10) Things Every Nigerian Man Must Know/Do Before And After Getting Married This 2021

No part of this post should be reproduced without written consent from the author.


Ten (10) Things Every Nigerian Man Must Know/Do Before And After Getting Married This 2021
Walking down the aisle is a blessing, of course with the perfect one. Every man in Nigeria should be aware of some steps to take before getting into marriage. The first thing you should avoid is premarital sex. 

There have been many warnings against premarital sex. A surprise is valued more when it is given to sb, and not when you open it before it becomes yours.

Knowing these steps will lead and grant him a successful and brighter marriage in the future because many marriages today are full of pain, regret, unhappiness, quarrel, grief, and many regrettable things.

 
1. Get to know her very well. Be good friends first. Marriage should start from friendship.
Don’t marry a stranger because you are getting old to avoid premium tears. This will help you to avoid many family problems that may occur in the future. 

A good marriage journey should begin with courtship, starting with a solid foundation of Godly love. 

Share values together, common interests, and trust so that even when you are far from her, you will be well assured that she is also strongly in love with you. It takes two to tango, positively.

Do not subscribe to the pressure of marrying a girl who you have just met within weeks. I am not ignorant of the fact that it works for some people -- a little percent of the world though -- but it doesn't mean it will work for you.

When you marry sb you don't know, the after-marriage life may be tasking to comprehend whereas, when you marry a friend, you have a friend you have always known.

2. Gender roles.
Getting into conversations that will bring comfort and happiness in the future may come in handy. It is an important issue that affects all of us.

Discussions such as choosing roles of who does what, when, and the inputs to the family should not be neglected.

The discourse of talking about gender roles and responsibility sharing might seem unimportant to many but it has been a big problem in marriages.

Some men complain that their wives do not support their marriages but leave all responsibilities for them.

Fact check: Do you know that cooking, laundering the clothes, keeping the house clean, cooking, taking care of the baby, and you take a whole lot of time?

The first time I fed a baby was the slowest moment of my life. It was so slow I began hating why I volunteered. These minor clean-ups could take most of a woman's time! ..and yet you complain she does nothing?

Think about it.

She should be appreciated! There's no law book where it is written that she should do all these, forget the societal dogma.

Of course, you work from 6 am to 6 pm. If you were to employ a nanny, a chef, a gardener, a launder man, etc., to do all these for you, you'll be spending a whole lot than you earn! Does it logically mean your wife does work that inversely is bigger than what you earn? 

Think about it.

If you can't handle some works alone forever, discuss the system of payment of some huge bills even before getting married and after getting married to avoid it becoming burdensome.

Tips: Courtship failures are marriage failures. Try as much as possible to avoid premium tears.

3. What are your religious obligations? What is her culture?
Do you neglect the power of God in marriage? Get to know each other’s religious way of life. Negligence to this could also take down a marriage.


Know her culture if it is agreeable with you! It is both practical and moral to marry somebody who shares your belief. Many failed marriages are attributed to cultural and religious differences!


4. Getting to know about her intentions towards marriage; her hates and her likes, and things that make her happy. I don't mean displeasing yourself to please!
Is she mature? What are her views towards marriage? Does she understand it is a forever course?

- Learn to understand each other to avoid having misunderstandings.

 - Be very patient with marriage. Don't plunge into it.

Are you a Christian? What does your Bible teach you? Need counsel? We are available.

5. Marry an understanding wife.
A well-educated wife isn't a must. Some women should know marriage isn't one-sided. A woman who is not entitled will create a happy home.

Some men fall into the wrong hands of marrying beautiful women without brains; women who feel that the presence of money from her husband is the primary ingredient of marriage should not be considered. 

Because if money is the only joy in marriage, it will always be. Marry the person who loves you, not necessarily somebody who you so love.  If she loves you, and you love her, well done bro.

Tips: if your spouse’ happiness is always based in buying trending things, she/he will never be happy because they'll always be something to be bought.

6. Don't bite more than you can chew.
Do not try to impress her by borrowing, or cutting your coat according to your neighbor's size. Always treat your wife-to-be like you treat yourself, at least.

Of course, make her know she’s special because women love to be cared for. They like to be treated like an egg.
 However, no go borrow money do weddings make you no go borrow rice next morning.

7. Make sure that your marriage is well planed for a better tomorrow.
Learn to save. Don't forget theocracy. Time your family for some bible study to enable them to grow spiritually; make it a habit for them so that they will grow with God, knowing right and wrong. When you start procreating, plan!

 Tips: Bad association spoils useful habits.

Keeping them away from bad association which can lead to trouble, giving everyone a role to play in the family i. e writing a duty roster, a menu which each and everyone should follow each day is a good thing to do.

8. Always get to relate (share things like ideas). Bro, the after-marriage life is a big deal. You have to learn to know your family problems from day one and understand how to handle them before it becomes a big issue.

 As a man, you need to try everything possible to avoid your wife and children seeing you as a disappointment and a disaster. You have to learn to be very useful to the family and be a good provider. 

Many children have lost hope in their fathers because their fathers couldn't live up to their fatherly expectations.


9. How many children do you want to have?
 It is also useful to know and have an agreement between you and your wife on how many children to have. Don't give birth to two dozens that you cannot carry!
This is an important discussion.

10. Action plan.
How do you become a perfect husband?

Are you always right?

What happens when you both disagree?

Can you take the risk of apologizing because you value the relationship than being right?


Tell us what you think below in the comment box.

Post a Comment

1 Comments

Drop your comment on what you think about the topic you have just read on No Premium Tears Blog.